Examining a Gothard Book, Part 10

This post continues examining Chapter 5: To Be Cleansed Within, of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife. This is part two of this examination and continues the topic of “Cleansing Wives of Lies.”

I can never measure up.

This lie comes from the false idea that we are to compare ourselves with other people and measure up to their expectation of us. If we measure ourselves by other people, we will always find those who we believe are smarter, prettier, or more talented that we are. This will produce self-rejection and discouragement in us.

Greatness is not determined by how many people serve us but by how many people allow us to serve them. (pg.52)

Mr. Gothard started out good with we will always find those who we believe are smarter, prettier, or more talented that we are. But then he says this knowledge “will produce self-rejection and discouragement in us.” This may happen with self-centered people but everyone else should just accept the facts—that there are people who ARE smarter, better looking and more talented than we are aand move on. Also, we shouldn’t be thinking about how we can be great.

I am not worth anything.

When we believe this lie, we separate ourselves from the great works that God has planned for us to achieve. God said to Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou tamest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations “ (Jeremiah 1:5). God has placed such a great worth on you that if you were the only one in the world, He would have sent His son to die for your sins so that you could have eternal life with Him. (pg.52)

So if a woman says to herself that she isn’t worth anything, can she really separate herself from whatever God has planned for her—does she really have that power?!? The chosen text says God ordained Jeremiah as a prophet—is this what the woman is to expect of herself? Of course not!! What if God doesn’t have anything special at all for the woman except for her to live her life in obedience to Him? The last statement about “great worth” is ridiculous because she would NEVER be the only person in the world!! Too much hyperbole.

The Bible passages Gothard uses are, as usual for him, out of context. John 14:12 and John 15:16 are directed ONLY to his apostles!!!!

I must hide my faults

The lie that if we reveal our faults, people will despise us. The opposite is true. People admire those who confess their faults, because they also have faults; therefore they realize the courage and humility that it takes to acknowledge them.

A second lie is thinking that we can hide our faults. They usually come out in ways that we are not aware of but that others notice. These are called “blind spots” in our lives. God has so designed life that everything we do in secret will become known, either during our lifetime or at the final judgement. (Pg.53)

If we tell everyone our faults it will sound like we are bragging about them. It also isn’t necessary to tell others all our faults; if they can’t help us fix our faults, why tell them? Some faults can indeed be hidden—such as sinful thoughts.

For “proving” his teaching here, Gothard cites three Bible passages; out of context, of course:

Proverbs 28:13, James 5:16 and Luke 12:2 (I’ll let you look them up). Proverbs is about dealing with God, not mankind. James could be supportive but, again, not all faults must be told to others. Finally, Luke is about between us and God for the most part. What if what I’m hiding is that I’m a spy for America in a foreign land—think of all the spies during WWII who helped win the war!

I think that, for the most part, the rest of Gothard’s “lies that wives believe” have essentially correct responses—although he does like to take Bible passages out of context.

Towards the end of this chapter Gothard approaches the idea of fear being a sin. He writes, “Wives are prone to fear.” I have to say this: HUSBANDS are also prone to fear. ALL people are prone to fear in various ways and/or situations. But I don’t think anyone is prone to fear 100% of the time.

Here’s an example of Gothard’s claims:

Fears are especially damaging to women, because they cause her hormonal balance to be upset and thus trigger a cascade of other physical and emotional problems. Fear does particular damage to a wife’s respiratory system. This results in a variety of disease symptoms. If these are treated with drugs, new symptoms will occur. Thus the root causes must be resolved. (Pg.59)

Okay, I googled these claims and found nothing about fear affecting hormonal balance.  One who is suffering from constant anxiety and fear can affect breathing and the resulting problems, HOWEVER, this would have to be continuous and not occasional fears of various things. So fear is healthy in many situations in that it leads to more caution. To label all fear as problematic is just plain wrong!

Next, Gothard writes this:

Every wrong decision can usually be traced to a fear that in turn was based on a lie. (pg.59)

WRONG!! Many wrong decisions may be traced to a fear of something but most are made by being uninformed/ignorant on the topic bringing about the wrong decision!

Next: All fears can be traced back to a lack of genuine love, because “there is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). Love is concerned only about giving. Fear comes when we focus on getting. (pg.59)

Another absurd abuse of Scripture. If I fear driving in a blizzard, is that because of a lack of love? I was afraid with every-single one of the 43 parachute jumps I made while a paratrooper in the Army. Is that due to a lack of love? What about fear of going into combat—Is that a lack of love? 

The rest of the chapter deals with various fears and how they are wrong, proving Gothard has no clue.

Examining a Gothard Book, Part 9

This post examines Chapter 5: To Be Cleansed Within, of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife. This is part one of this examination.

The Cleansing That a Wife Needs (page 50)

The first cleansing that a wife needs is in the thoughts of her heart and soul. David prayed, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14). 

I would say that the husband needs the same “cleansing.”

Many wives come into a marriage with a load of painful memories, false ideas, lies from Satan, and unbiblical presuppositions. When new situations come up, a wife will refer back to all these untruths for direction and continue making unwise decisions and damaging responses. This only adds to her problems.

Wow, sounds the same as for a husband! It actually sounds the same for every human being!! So does Gothard have a book to fix husbands? His next paragraph cites Romans 12:1-2 as being for all believers, so he gets good points for that.

There can be several sources from which these lies come. A primary source is from unclean music that promotes lies through its lyrics and its sound.

Since so many legalists have virtually declared that music other than hymns match this description, Gothard should give examples.

Each time this music is listened to, it establishes strongholds of deception in the heart of the listener.

Really? “Each time.” So, what if someone listens to something and decides it isn’t proper, do they now have a “stronghold” of deception in their heart? What if someone is listening to this music for research purposes and in the process of transcribing the lyrics they have to listen to it multiple times times? Do they now have a stronger “stronghold”?

Other lies come from love novels, sensual reading material, and false philosophies.

Not all “love novels” (i.e. romance novels) are full of lies. I’ve read several Jane Austen books to my wife and didn’t seem to find lies in them. What defines “sensual” reading materials? What false philosophies? Gothard’s teachings are one huge false philosophy!

Cleansing Wives of Lies

Jesus stated that Satan is a liar and the father of lies, and that there is no truth in him. His goal is to get all Christians to believe his lies. Women are especially susceptible to believing lies and must be cleansed from them by God’s truth. Here are some lies that wives believe: (pg.50)

So women are more susceptible to believing lies?!? By what research? Want to see lots of men believing lies? Look no further than the Democrat Party, or the Mormon Church, or the Catholic Church for that matter.

I am not good enough.

This lie is based on the false premise that we can generate enough goodness to be acceptable in the eyes of God and other people. Being “good enough” does not come by our own efforts but by the power of God working in and through us! (pg.51)

Wow, I’ve known many men (husbands) who believe that lie. But mostly I see this as not good enough in other people’s eyes; insecurity among others. Gothard’s response becomes Romans 7:18 and Philippians 2:13, which are fine.

I am ugly

This lie is base on the idea that beauty is determined by outward features. The truth is that beauty is determined by the inward character qualities of the heart, especially gratefulness, joyfulness, kindness, compassion, generosity, and attentiveness. (pg.51)

Gothard is confusing two kinds of beauty. There is indeed a beauty of appearance (e.g. beauty contests) as well as an inward beauty. A woman can have both or neither. But the inward beauty does NOT change the outward appearance. If one is outwardly ugly, it is not a lie to believe that. Gothard’s citing “God’s Truth” (Prov.31:30; 1 Pet.3:3-4; 1 Sam. 16:7; and Prov. 15:13) addresses the inward beauty more so than outward beauty. Whether Gothard wants to admit it, men tend to first look at the outward beauty before desiring to learn the inward beauty. So don’t say it is a lie if an ugly woman (or man) believes they are indeed ugly.

I am a failure

The first lie in this statement is that we can achieve our own success. The second lie is that we can evaluate our own success or failure. The third lie is that we will be judged by our success rather than by our faithfulness. (pg.51)

Gothard’s first lie is that we can’t achieve our own success. Hard workers achieve their own success. His second lie is that we can’t evaluate our own success or failure. All one has to do is to look at their achievements to determine their success or failure. His third lie is that we won’t be judged by our success vs our faithfulness; the world judges you by BOTH. Gothard seems to think people judge their own success or failure according to God instead of man, but when a man or woman says they are a failure, they are 99% of the time talking about success or failure according to mankind’s judgment, or even their own.

Personal failures can help us realize that we should not be working for our own ambitions but rather for the benefit of God’s kingdom and the welfare of other people. (pg.52)

Why can’t we be working for both?!?! Personal success for being able to provide for family and for God? Gothard’s first response is Jeremiah 45:5 as applying to the individual, but in context God is only speaking to Baruch; typical Gothard taking text out of context. His second out of context passage is Joshua 1:8, which is addressed only to Joshua. Can it be applied to everyone as an example of how God works? If so, then explain the many Christians out of work, unable to support their families, etc?

I will continue this examination in a future post.

Some Things to Think About

(Always click photos on this blog to enlarge them.)

Do Not Denigrate the Original Languages of the Bible.  One of the problems with the KJV Only cult. 

If you haven’t heard the speech by Harrison Butker, watch this video, then read what The Christian Post feminist commentator wrote. I agree with Butker, not what is supposed to be a Christian publication.

A Defining Moment: The REAL definition of marriage.

The Pastor Who Lied To 22 Million People? Daniel Kolenda.

Charismatic False Prophets Face Plant…Again.

Love Doesn’t Trump God’s Moral Commands.

Six reasons why you should avoid Beth Moore.  And she “Denounces Southern Baptists as “Masters of Diversion” For Dealing With Women Preachers

Reasons to avoid Lori Alexander.

Five reasons to avoid Jackie Hill Perry.

Reasons why Joyce Meyer is a false teacher.

The Episcopal Church’s dive to apostasy continues deeper and quicker.

Bill Johnson and Bethel Church lies exposed.

A NEW Level of DECEPTION is here.  While he gives some excellent information as to false teachers to avoid, I find Jordan to be rather juvenile with his ball cap on backwards; very distracting as he is saying, “look at me!”

Conference holders are often non-discerning when it comes to what speakers they invite, and inviting Glenn Beck is an example.

Still think The Chosen has no Mormon connection?

Examining a Gothard Book, Part 2

This post examines Chapter 2: To Do Great Works! of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife. 

What is a “ Great Work”?  A great work is a supernatural act that reveals the love and power of God. It can also be a natural work that brings glory to God. When a wife conceives in her womb and brings forth a child, she is doing a great work.

God is the one who initiated life, and He is the one who opens the womb, but it is the mother who cooperates with God and becomes the human instrument through which a great work is accomplished.

Pg.11 

There is nothing “great” about conceiving and giving birth to a child; it is just nature operating how God set it up. The mother has done no “work” in conceiving. Yes her body is doing lots of work when raising the embryo to full-grown birth, but it is not “cooperating” with God to do so.

There is no great God-honoring work to conceive and bear a child. After all, the vast majority of pregnancies/birth are to pagans! And what about out-of-wedlock children?

When a father delights in a newborn child, he gives honor to the great work his wife. If he does not delight in children, he denies his wife the fulfillment of this basic need.

pg.11 sidebar

It gives honor to the man’s wife if he delights in the child?! And if he doesn’t he is denying her fulfillment of a “basic need”? Where in Scripture does it say that a woman’s “basic need” is to have children. A desire is not a “need.” As to the “great work” of his wife, did she conceive the child by herself?

A Great Vision of Godly Generations

It is quite natural for a bride to think of the happiness that she will enjoy in her marriage. However, this violates her basic need to trust God alone for her expectations.

pg.12

WHAT?!??!  Thinking the happiness she will enjoy is violating her “need to trust God alone for her expectations”?!?!  How does that work? Can she not do both at the same time?

Her expectations for marriage must rise above her own happiness and encompass the happiness that she can give to God and to her husband by raising up the foundations of many Godly generations. Her husband must also share this vision.

Pg.12

Wait—she can give happiness to God? Her expectations for marriage have to “rise above her own happiness”? Can’t her expectations for marriage include the happiness of both her and her husband? And what if she cannot have children—does that make God unhappy?

The Reward for “Spiritual” Children

Many wives who cannot have children try to fill the void by adopting them. This brings new challenges, especially if the mother is adopting in order to fulfill her own emotional needs rather than meeting the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of her adopted children.

The Apostle Paul had no physical children; however, he had untold numbers of spiritual children, and his relationship with them brought great fulfillment. He says of these disciples, you are “my joy and crown” (Philippians 4:1).

pg.15

I know from other Gothard materials that he is totally against adoption; he has the ideology that children bring inherited sin, “generational sin” into the family. THAT is why he stresses that the woman is wanting to satisfy her own needs. 

For Paul and for us it is not enough to lead unbelievers to salvation. We also should train them up in the commands of Christ so that they will be spiritually strong and be able to disciple others. … The greatness of making “disciple makers” is seen in the potential of multiplication: if one wife would teach ten other women the forty-nine commands of Christ during a one-year period, and each of them would do the same thing, she would have 100,000 disciples in just five years! What a great work this would be!

Pg.16

So instead of adopting children, a wife unable to bear children should be teaching “forty-nine commands” of Christ in addition to the gospel. Gothard is focused on legalism—the 49 “commands” should be memorized well so as to pass them on! So, don’t adopt because you may have selfish reasons, just get out there and preach the Gospel with 49 commands!

Agglomeration

Wives, do you make your husband known at the gate? Just a thought-provoker before I expose some false teaching/teachers to avoid like the plague.

The Southern Baptist Convention now speaks of sin as “mistakes.” Which comes as no surprise the way they subvert “the Bible to Social Ends.” The SBC president says unrepentant homosexual behavior won’t send you to hell.

Priscilla Shirer continues her descent into apostasy as she preaches at Joel Osteen’s church!!

Do you remember the Brownsville/Pensacola Revival? Of course it was a fraud, as I’ve said from the beginning, but the proof shows it was a carefully planned emotional event manipulating people. The video is 54 minutes long, but eye-opening.

Christianity Today’s Russell Moore’s “justice conference” featured multiple apostate speakers who are pro-abortion and pro-homosexuality.

I learned something new about the apostate Bethel church—they promoted “prophetic Uno cards.” That’s about as bizarre as it gets.

I’ve never even heard of singer Grace Semler Baldridge, but she is obviously a fake Christian.

Roman Catholicism. First we have a Kentucky church held a service apologizing to the “LGBTQ” community! Nothing but apostasy there! Then we have rabidly pro-abortion Nancy Pelosi, who claims to be a loyal Catholic and who was denied communion by her bishop, getting communion at the Vatican!!!!  Be sure to see this great commentary on the event.

Ya know, I understand what this street preacher desired, but it’s the wrong venue. These people just see him as throwing “acid” in their faces; he really had no business being there. Take this as a lesson as to what NOT to do.

Beware of “leopard theology.”

Let’s end with some teaching about heresies.

Entering Marriage

The roles of the state and church, although important, are external to the troth relationship itself. In more recent times by means of a marriage license (and bill of divorce) the state, concerned to safeguard marriage, simply acknowledges the life (or death) of a marriage. If a couple are in Christ, they seek the blessing and support of the cultic worship community. A minister does not marry the couple; he only acknowledges that in their vowed promise God marries them. A wedding ceremony is the rite by which a couple, seeking support and sharing joy, publicly pledge their troth in the presence of God, friends, family, church, state, and enter marriage.

James H. Olthus, Wycliffe Dictionary of Christian Ethics, Carl F.H. Henry editor, pg.408-409.