This post is part three of examining Chapter 3: To Inspire Mighty Men! of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife.
In the section titled, 3. A God-Given Life Message Gothard has the following (pg.24):
1. A law system for one family—Adam’s
God gave Adam ten specific commandments that Adam was to obey and teach to his wife and children.
Yet Gothard gave no reference and no hint of such commandments, and I certainly haven’t been able to find them in Genesis!
Training Children Who Will Not Depart.
Many pastors are actually embarrassed over this promise in Proverbs: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). These pastors try to explain away this verse, because they know of Godly couples who trained up their children and when those children went to college, they rejected what they had been taught and followed the ways of the world.
Rather than looking for loopholes in the promise, we should evaluate they way in which we train up sons and daughters. We no doubt will discover significant areas of neglect, which will explain why they departed from the Lord.
Pg. 25
Firstly, the Proverbs are not promises—the are “proverbs,” i.e. general statements of how things normally go. Many, many parents raise up their children in the Lord in every way possible but they cannot FORCE their children to do as they were taught. College is well-known for having destructive teachings to lead students astray and away from the Lord. Yes, SOME parents neglect proper training, but I know too many who did just about everything right and yet one or more of their children, once on their own, turned their backs on what they were taught. Mr. Gothard has to twist this Proverb into a promise in order to denigrate parents who have children who go astray. It must be remembered the Gothard has never been married and never had children and yet insolently decides he knows better than real parents.
Under the section of, “How to Train up Mighty Men!”, there are 21 “secrets for successful child rearing” to be found in Scripture. As we look over what he calls “secrets,” keep remembering that this is from a man who never married or had children. Let’s look at some highlights of these secrets.
First secret: Desire for Children (pg.27)
A mother was puzzled and frustrated because her son had reacted to her from the day he had been born. When she was asked if she wanted to have that child, she answered, “No, I was not ready to have a child, and I actually resented the fact that I was with child.”
This mother was informed that babies in the womb can sense in their spirit whether they are desired or unwanted. This discernment will affect their responses after birth.
She asked God to forgive her for her wrong attitude toward His blessing, and when her son was old enough to understand, she asked him to also forgive her for her wrong attitude toward him before he was born.
Where in Scripture does it say that the spirit of the child is able to discern whether it is wanted, or where does science tell us this? The idea that a child in the womb can sense whether it is wanted is just plain outlandish.
Second secret: Dedication Before Conception.(pg.27)
Every son should know that even before he was born, he was dedicated to God for His service and that before he was formed in the womb God planned for him to impact nations for God’s glory.
Gothard then cites Jeremiah 1:5 as his evidence. Just one problem—that passage is only about Jeremiah. What if the Christian parents don’t dedicate the boy (not a girl?) before birth? What if God doesn’t have plan for the child to “impact nations”? How many Christian actually “impact nations” with service? So how could Gothard say this?
Third secret: Abstinence From Wine. (Pg. 28, Cites Judges 13:3-4)
If a mother wants to train up mighty men, she must eliminate wine and unclean meats from her home and diet.
Mark 7:19 says there are no unclean meats for Christians. The laws against clean and unclean foods were specifically for Jews to begin with. There is nothing in Scripture condemning the drinking of wine—only the excessive use of it. A mother should not drink alcohol when with child because of possible damage to the child, but otherwise there is no need to eliminate wine from the home.
Fourth secret: Pre-Birth Training.(pg.29)
It is now a well-established fact that an unborn child can recognize voices outside the womb and discern what is being said. The unborn child’s mind is not yet developed, but his spirit is given at conception and is capable of discernment. (Cites John the Baptist response when he heard Mary’s voice.)
The reaction of the Baptist to Mary’s voice was a special gift of God. If babies in the womb can discern what people say, then why can’t they understand what is said immediately after birth?
Fifth secret: Proper Birth Procedures (pg.30-31)
Gothard decries a hospital birth as “counterproductive to a healthy birth” due to stress and trauma for mother and child and other procedures he lists which are used only with troubled births. His reasoning for avoiding hospitals is because of Isaiah 66:9 and Jeremiah 32:27, which of course have nothing to do with birth procedures. He does confess that “There may be certain conditions in the mother or the baby that will require medial assistance,” which is good, but then he states that, “in general, a well-planned home birth with an experienced midwife and a wise hospital backup plan is the best way to bring a child into the world.”
Again, a man who has never been married or had children has decided that he KNOWS the “best way.”
Sixth secret: Bonding at Birth (pg. 31)
There is an important event that should take place at birth that will bond the baby with his or her parents and other family members. It involves breathing on the baby.
Gothard cites as “precedent” God breathing into Adam’s nostrils (Gen. 2:7) and Jesus breathing on his disciples after rising from the dead (John 20:22). God breathed LIFE into Adam and Jesus’ breathing was giving them the Holy Spirit!!!!. Holding a baby is bonding with it, especially when the mother breastfeeds.
Seventh secret: Circumcision on the Eighth Day (pg.31)
In order to train up mighty men, we must follow God’s instructions for good health. Circumcision was established by God long before the Law was given to Moses…. It is…a practice that has definitive health benefits and is associated with Godly young men, whereas uncircumcised men are associated with immorality throughout Scripture.
Circumcision was/is a sign of a covenant between God and Abraham and Abraham’s descendants. Christians are not part of that covenant, and that sign had nothing to do with health. Furthermore, in the O.T. where the uncircumcised are associated with immorality it was because the comparisons were between Jews (who were circumscribed by covenant with God) and the gentiles. Gothard has a love affair with O.T. laws that were part of covenants with specific people!!
I will continue next time with part 6 of examining Chapter 3: To Inspire Mighty Men! of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife.
