This post examines Chapter 4: To Be Valued and Cherished!, of of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife.
Bill Gothard starts this chapter with a small test he gave to pastors (I’d be surprised if this was a true incident). He wanted them to write answers to the question, What things can your wife do for you that no other woman can do? He said most were embarrassed to have empty sheets of paper. Okay, so let’s see what Gothard gives as the answers to that question.
1. Have the Power of One-Accord Prayer (pg.40). Without citing a passage, he states: When the 120 believers were in one place and in one accord, the power of God came upon them and they carried out supernatural deeds. The same results will be experienced whenever two or more believers pray with one-accord agreement.
Acts 1:15—23 is when 120 believers listen to Peter’s teachings and then selected a replacement for Judas. There is NOTHING about anyone being in “one accord” or anyone carrying out “supernatural deeds.” If you continue to Chapter 2 and assume the same 120 are being discussed, again there is no mention of any “supernatural deeds,” but it does have them speaking in different languages. Where are the deeds? The point Gothard is trying to make is that husband and wife in one accord” prayer will have “success of their lives, marriage, children, health, family, and ministry to others.
I hate to say this, but “one-accord” prayers don’t guarantee the success of anything.
Then his sidebar says, The potential of the one-accord prayer of a married couple is beyond what most husbands realize. When two are in one-accord agreement on an important matter, God releases supernatural powering order to solve the crises in the family. If two of you shall agree and pray in faith, it shall be done unto you.
Where in Scripture does it say this?!?!? There is no such promise!
2. Protect Your Name and Reputation (pg.41). “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold” (Proverbs 22:1). There are many ways that your wife will protect your name and your reputation. She knows your blind spots. She also has keen discernment into the motives of men and women who want to gain your favor.
So every man’s wife can discern the motives of those who want to gain her husband’s favor?!?
When it comes to financial investments, it is very important that both of you be in total agreement. God will show your wife dangers that you will not see.
Really? God will show things to the wife but not to the husband?
3. Give You Pleasure Without Guilt (pg.41). The subject here, of course, is sex and affairs can’t give pleasure without guilt. I won’t disagree with this.
4. Meet Basic Needs in Your Children (pg.42). For the most part this section is common sense. The he says this, without any references to back up his claim: [C]hildren from broken families have twice as much asthma as children from stable home. So broken homes cause asthma in children?
Gothard then talks about the need to cherish only your wife (I agree) but sidesteps with “Safeguards in Selecting Secretaries.” (pg.44) Then he gives seven ways to do this (pg.45-46):
1. Make sure that she is not likely to look to you to meet her emotional needs. That’s sort of a difficult thing to do when “selecting” a secretary. This sort of thing comes out later.
2. Make sure that your wife meets, interviews, and approves your secretary. Sorry, but if one is looking for a secretary he wants qualification, not wife approval. Gothard says, Technically, a secretary is working for your wife, because she is doing things to assist you that you wife is not able to do. Balderdash. She is working for the man who hired her, period. On the sidebar Gothard writes, The scope of responsibilities of the Proverbs 31 wife extends to the maidens who served in the household. This should include the secretary who assists her husband. WRONG! That is not even hinted at in Proverbs 31.
3. Keep your relationship with your secretary on a business level at all times. That should go without saying.
4. Make sure that your wife can call you without going through your secretary. OKAY.
5. Make sure that you never ask your secretary to meet your personal needs or do tasks that your wife normally does. Again, that should go without saying, but his sidebar regarding this loses common sense: Osteoporosis is a condition of bone deterioration. Calcium and other minerals are leached from the bones leaving holes like those seen in Swiss cheese. Millions of women suffer from this disease, which is primarily caused by envy: “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.” (Proverbs 14:30). Apparently Gothard thinks metaphors don’t exist as he disregards actual medical science.
6. Make sure that your secretary is committed to the success of your marriage. How can you ensure this when selecting a secretary? Your secretary must help you make your wife and home your priority. She can do this by shielding you from unnecessary interruptions, helping you keep appointments with your wife, and guarding you from temptations of moral impurity.
Wrong. First, one might just have a male secretary! Second, it is not the secretary’s business to do any of this!!!
7.Make sure that you praise your wife to your secretary and never discuss your marital problems with her. I agree you shouldn’t discuss marital—or family—problems with a secretary but why should you secretary have to listen to you praising your wife all the time?!?!
As usual with Mr. Gothard, Scripture is twisted and his opinions/beliefs are to be adhered to without common sense. Next time we’ll look at Chapter 5, To Be Cleansed Within!
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