Examining a Gothard Book, Part 7

This post is part five of examining Chapter 3: To Inspire Mighty Men! of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife. 

With the last post I ended with number 16 of Gothard’s 21 “secrets for successful child rearing.”

Seventeenth secret: Passion for Discipleship. (pg.36): The passion of a mighty man of valor must be to win people to Christ and to train them in the forty-nine commands of Christ. “He that winneth souls is wise.” (Proverbs 11:30), …

Does Gothard ever use a passage in context? He couldn’t use this if it wasn’t in KJV. Let’s look at the FULL verse in a modern translation.

“The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and the one who is wise saves lives.” (NIV)

The point is saving lives, which “souls” in the KJV means. It has nothing to do with winning people to Christ. I’m afraid to ask what his 49 commands are and how twists Scripture to find them.

…and “they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars forever and ever” (Daniel 12:3).

In actuality this passage is discussing Israel’s pending destruction. It could be used as an analogy, though.

If a son or daughter is not actively reaching out to people and making disciples, he or she will see no reason to be different from the world.

Not everyone has the gift or the ability to “actively” make disciples on a continuing basis. MOST people try making disciples while in the workplace or out in the world, not on a full-time basis.

In order to find potential disciples, we must find ways to meet them. One excellent way is to bring the poor into your house for a special meal to honor them.

So only the poor are worth inviting into your home for a special meal? Is it really safe nowadays, especially, to be inviting strangers into your house? Just think about it.

Eighteenth secret: Personal Vows (pg.36). Just one important note: Vows must bd carefully made and must be based on Scripture. A vow is affirming a command of Scripture before our human intellect has an opportunity to rationalize it away. Examples would be a vow not to drink liquor or not to be intimate before marriage.

Nineteenth secret: “Passage” to Adulthood (pg.36). Adulthood begins for a boy after his twelfth year and for a girl other twelfth birthday. A special celebration should be conducted to honor this special time. Thereafter, a son or a daughter must be respected and treated like a young adult. 

Here Gothard is taking a page from the Jews: bat/bar mitzvah by 13 for boys and 12 for girls. Christians don’t have such rules. In reality, it’s best to say 15-16 would be called young adults but for most cities/states under 16 is consider juvenile while 16 and up can be tried as adults.

Twentieth secret: Biblical Belief System (pg.37). Here is where Gothard mentions bat/bar mitzvah as when the young people memorize the first five books of Moses. Then he says, As believers we have been give a new law system consisting of Christ’s forty-nine commands. We must not only learn these by heart and live them out, but we must teach them to others. These commands must be the belief system of our heart.

Now, I’m sure he probably lists the so-called 49 commands of Christ but I haven’t come across it and I’d really like to know where he gets them!!!

Twenty-first secret: Courtship Commitment (pg.37). The problem with so-called courtship, and we tried it, is that no two families seem to have the same idea. Some, like Gothard, can be very legalistic and start as young as 15 years old.  Gothard says a young man is prepared for marriage before letting the girl know of his intentions. I have to disagree. I’ll use myself as an example. I began dating my wife while I was still in the Army (I was 22 and she 18) and after I became a civilian six months later I let her know of my intent to marry her—we weren’t officially engaged for another 10 months. However, After getting out of the Army I had to find work and a place to live and have some money saved up. According to Gothard I should have waited until essentially our engagement before letting her know of my intentions!  My son and his wife began courting with intent to marriage while he was apprenticing in a trade and was living at home! So he wasn’t prepared yet they were engaged during this time; they didn’t marry until he had a job and an apartment. Gothard demanding his methods is nonsensical.

And thus ends Chapter 3 of this book.