Let’s look first at what these terms mean:
Forgiveness means you give up the anger toward the person who sinned against you. When someone says they “forgive but can’t forget,” we must look to God (who can’t forget) who says he will remember our sins no more (Hebrews 8:12); i.e. the sins won’t be held against us and won’t be brought up before us again. That’s how we are to forgive someone; give up the anger toward the offender and don’t bring up the sin to them any more.
Grace: A good definition is “getting what you don’t deserve.” This is what forgiveness may very well be. One who forgives those who offend them or sins against them is giving the sinner/offender the grace of God whether or not they deserve it.
Mercy: As with grace, a simple definition is “not getting what you deserve.” A person who sins against you or offends you may deserve your anger, wrath, snubbing, to be cut out of your life, etc, but as a Christian it is your duty to treat them with mercy and forgive them.
What demonstrates that one is a Christian is that they give grace, mercy and forgiveness to those who have offended them or sinned against them.
Let me give a few examples where grace, mercy and forgiveness should come into play.
A young Christian man steals money from his parents because of gambling debts. When asked for forgiveness, the parents then cut him off and even left him nothing in their will. Would it not be honoring God that, instead of holding bitterness and contempt, they would actually demonstrate the grace of God by showing mercy and forgiving him?
A young Christian woman believes that her parents have sinned against her and when asked for forgiveness she tells them “I forgive but I can’t forget.” That very statement proves she does not really forgive. Then when she is at a particular function she identifies her brother’s in-laws as her parents. What she has done has denied her own name and birthright due to holding a grudge and lack of forgiveness. Would it not be honoring God, as well as her parents, that instead of holding bitterness and contempt she would actually demonstrate the grace of God by showing mercy and forgiving them?
A young Christian man believes his parents have sinned against him and his wife and when asked for forgiveness he instead cut them out of his life, denying them even a relationship with grandchildren. When he, his wife and their three children allow two of his wife’s sisters to perform music with them at a local venue and they are billed as the ______ Family Singers (the name of his wife’s family), hasn’t he denied his own name and birthright? Would it not be honoring God, as well as his parents, that instead of holding bitterness and contempt he would actually demonstrate the grace of God by showing mercy and forgiving them?
A young woman is seduced by her boyfriend and becomes pregnant. When she confesses to her parents and asks for their forgiveness and help, the parents evict her from their home and want nothing more to do with her. Would it not be be honoring God that, instead of holding bitterness and contempt, the parents would actually demonstrate the grace of God by showing mercy and forgiving her and welcoming her to stay with them to help her raise her child?
Too often Christians behave just like unbelievers when it comes to being offended or sinned against. Instead of showing grace, mercy and forgiveness they hold bitterness and anger for many years—and sometimes even for the rest of their lives. This behavior denies their faith and brings disgrace on the name of Christ.
How about you? Is there someone who has offended you, or sinned against you, that you can show the grace of God to and with mercy forgive them and repair broken relationships? Do not wait until it is too late.
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