This post examines Chapter 5: To Be Cleansed Within, of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife. This is part one of this examination.
The Cleansing That a Wife Needs (page 50)
The first cleansing that a wife needs is in the thoughts of her heart and soul. David prayed, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).
I would say that the husband needs the same “cleansing.”
Many wives come into a marriage with a load of painful memories, false ideas, lies from Satan, and unbiblical presuppositions. When new situations come up, a wife will refer back to all these untruths for direction and continue making unwise decisions and damaging responses. This only adds to her problems.
Wow, sounds the same as for a husband! It actually sounds the same for every human being!! So does Gothard have a book to fix husbands? His next paragraph cites Romans 12:1-2 as being for all believers, so he gets good points for that.
There can be several sources from which these lies come. A primary source is from unclean music that promotes lies through its lyrics and its sound.
Since so many legalists have virtually declared that music other than hymns match this description, Gothard should give examples.
Each time this music is listened to, it establishes strongholds of deception in the heart of the listener.
Really? “Each time.” So, what if someone listens to something and decides it isn’t proper, do they now have a “stronghold” of deception in their heart? What if someone is listening to this music for research purposes and in the process of transcribing the lyrics they have to listen to it multiple times times? Do they now have a stronger “stronghold”?
Other lies come from love novels, sensual reading material, and false philosophies.
Not all “love novels” (i.e. romance novels) are full of lies. I’ve read several Jane Austen books to my wife and didn’t seem to find lies in them. What defines “sensual” reading materials? What false philosophies? Gothard’s teachings are one huge false philosophy!
Cleansing Wives of Lies
Jesus stated that Satan is a liar and the father of lies, and that there is no truth in him. His goal is to get all Christians to believe his lies. Women are especially susceptible to believing lies and must be cleansed from them by God’s truth. Here are some lies that wives believe: (pg.50)
So women are more susceptible to believing lies?!? By what research? Want to see lots of men believing lies? Look no further than the Democrat Party, or the Mormon Church, or the Catholic Church for that matter.
I am not good enough.
This lie is based on the false premise that we can generate enough goodness to be acceptable in the eyes of God and other people. Being “good enough” does not come by our own efforts but by the power of God working in and through us! (pg.51)
Wow, I’ve known many men (husbands) who believe that lie. But mostly I see this as not good enough in other people’s eyes; insecurity among others. Gothard’s response becomes Romans 7:18 and Philippians 2:13, which are fine.
I am ugly
This lie is base on the idea that beauty is determined by outward features. The truth is that beauty is determined by the inward character qualities of the heart, especially gratefulness, joyfulness, kindness, compassion, generosity, and attentiveness. (pg.51)
Gothard is confusing two kinds of beauty. There is indeed a beauty of appearance (e.g. beauty contests) as well as an inward beauty. A woman can have both or neither. But the inward beauty does NOT change the outward appearance. If one is outwardly ugly, it is not a lie to believe that. Gothard’s citing “God’s Truth” (Prov.31:30; 1 Pet.3:3-4; 1 Sam. 16:7; and Prov. 15:13) addresses the inward beauty more so than outward beauty. Whether Gothard wants to admit it, men tend to first look at the outward beauty before desiring to learn the inward beauty. So don’t say it is a lie if an ugly woman (or man) believes they are indeed ugly.
I am a failure
The first lie in this statement is that we can achieve our own success. The second lie is that we can evaluate our own success or failure. The third lie is that we will be judged by our success rather than by our faithfulness. (pg.51)
Gothard’s first lie is that we can’t achieve our own success. Hard workers achieve their own success. His second lie is that we can’t evaluate our own success or failure. All one has to do is to look at their achievements to determine their success or failure. His third lie is that we won’t be judged by our success vs our faithfulness; the world judges you by BOTH. Gothard seems to think people judge their own success or failure according to God instead of man, but when a man or woman says they are a failure, they are 99% of the time talking about success or failure according to mankind’s judgment, or even their own.
Personal failures can help us realize that we should not be working for our own ambitions but rather for the benefit of God’s kingdom and the welfare of other people. (pg.52)
Why can’t we be working for both?!?! Personal success for being able to provide for family and for God? Gothard’s first response is Jeremiah 45:5 as applying to the individual, but in context God is only speaking to Baruch; typical Gothard taking text out of context. His second out of context passage is Joshua 1:8, which is addressed only to Joshua. Can it be applied to everyone as an example of how God works? If so, then explain the many Christians out of work, unable to support their families, etc?
I will continue this examination in a future post.
Another good set of responses to Gothard’s next chapter, Glenn. I haven’t read the book (I am a wife but not one who “needs” what he’s offering!), so I don’t know the full contexts, but you sure have pointed out some questionable assertions from him. (Your response to “I am ugly” was so true, while also making me laugh!)
ReplyDeleteI did have one thought about his point, “Women are especially susceptible to believing lies and must be cleansed from them by God’s truth.” Was he perhaps basing that on 1 Tim. 2:14 (“And Adam was not deceived but the woman, being deceived, fell into transgression”)? [Coincidentally, I cited this very same verse over at Stan’s blog just the other day.] Years ago, I led a book study on “Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free,” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, that discussed women’s particular susceptibility to deception. I believe there is some truth to that (related to women’s strong emotional faculties) but not enough to base a whole philosophy on it; and of course, as you say, men are deceived as well.
I do see some validity in his point about secular music and especially “romance novels”; discernment is needed there, as you pointed out. Years ago, when I was heading up our church library, I purged a large amount of Amish fiction and similar material from our circulation.
Speaking of the Amish: I know you live in Iowa, near many Amish and Mennonite communities (we live in Berks County, PA, near them as well). My husband and I traveled to Nebraska and Iowa in April 2024 and enjoyed a visit to the Kalona Historical Village. I am a history buff but was not aware that so many Amish and Mennonites had helped settled Iowa. We also visited Pella Historical Village and many sites in and around Des Moines (but did not get to the Amana Colonies). I must say you have a very beautiful state capitol building--the most impressive one we have ever seen. We found Iowa’s landscape quite pretty, although the farms were still bare in April. We drove through Iowa again in August (on the way to/from Wyoming), and the green rolling hills were lovely then.
Hi Lorna,
ReplyDeleteMy argument with his statment about women being more easily deceived was his bold statement without citing any studies--just a claim. I think, in general, women were more easily deceived because, moreso than men, they operate on emotions. But with today's culture men are becoming just as much deceived as women. The book you note, by DeMoss, sounds like a good one.
I've seen some of that Amish fiction and I didn't see where it taught anything. I noted I've read to my wife Jane Austen's novels and I thought they were quite good, with many lessons about life.
From our house to Kalona is a 30 minute drive--we are NNE in North Liberty. There are also Amish and Mennonite settlements north of Independence (which is an hour north of us on US20). They sure have a lot of legalistic teachings!!! From our cross-country travels we have discovered similar settlements in PA. We are actually from OH and came to Iowa via 17 years in the Chicago area. Pella, of course, was a Reformed Dutch settlement, and we visit there (1:35 SW of us) almost annually, sometimes for the Tulip Festival. Good bakeries!
Long before moving to Iowa we took trips west (Yellowstone, Grand Canyon etc) and drove through Iowa a lot. As you note, you can have beautiful drives all over (for fall foliage drive we went NE to McGregor before turning back), When we told people in Illinois where we were moving to (I was transferring to the Cedar Rapids Airport control tower) they told us Iowa flat--we always laughed at that.
My co-librarian at our church was of Mennonite background and insisted that much of the Amish fiction was valuable for its historical context; I let her select the best in her opinion to keep, but I couldn’t read any of that stuff. We have visited the Lancaster area a lot, and I am familiar with their church beliefs, but I don’t concur with most of it. (Coming from a Catholic background, I am super-sensitive to legalism and any hint of “works righteousness.”)
ReplyDeletePella was a fun town (I loved their miniature Dutch village in the windmill); and we stood in a long line at one of those great bakeries for quite a while before finally giving up. I agree, Iowa is not flat--at least not like other areas we must drive through from PA to get out west. The Loess Hills area was recommended to us, but we didn’t make it there. We’re originally from NJ and moved to PA for a bit more scenery, but nothing beats the western states! We’re getting around to all of them. (We were at Grand Canyon just last December, when we drove all the way from PA to Nevada.) Ohio, now that’s flat, but it has loads of good zoos and amusement parks and was a favorite family vacation destination when our kids were still at home. There’s a lot to see in our great country, for sure!
We've been in Iowa for 29 years as of 1 Dec and still haven't gotten to the Loess Hills!! I want to but we've been busy everywhere else.
ReplyDelete