Here, then, is this basic fundamental teaching — the man is to be the head of the wife, and he is to be the head of the family. God made him that way, endowed him with the faculties and powers and propensities that enable him to fulfill this; and so made woman that she should be the “complement” of man. Now the word “complement” carries in itself the notion of submission; her main function is to make up a deficiency in the man. That is why these two become “one flesh”; the woman is the complement of the man. But the emphasis, therefore, is this, that man is responsible not only for himself, but for his wife, and for his family in all ultimate matters. The wife is to help him, to support him, to aid him, and to do everything she can in order to enable him to function as the lord of creation, into which position God has placed him. She is brought into being in order to help man to perform that great and wonderful and glorious task. That is the basic teaching with regard to the relationship of husbands and wives as laid down in the very order of creation, the fundamental rule with regard to the life of man in this world.
D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Life in the Spirit in Marriage, Home & Work: An Exposition of Ephesians 5:18-6:9, pg.105
Just out of mere curiosity here, why does Martyn Lloyd-Jones have a hyphenated last name? Where does the Lloyd-Jones come from as most in our communities do not have that type of last name.
ReplyDeleteThere is a woman, however in our community that has a hyphenated last name, her maiden name, then her ex-husband's last name. And her children bear her maiden name/hyphen/their father's last name.
She is condemned by the conservative men in our area, mostly 'religious' men, and mocked in the public square for hyphenating her and her children's names. She is called 'liberal,' a 'feminazi,' a 'b___h,' 'off her rocker,' all sorts of put-downs by churched men and some viperous women as well, and yet, where does the name
Martyn Lloyd-Jones come from?
This is confusing to me.
Hi Anonymous 4/20 0832,
ReplyDeleteI have no idea why the name is hyphenated. The man was Welsh, and the Welsh tend to have some LONGGG names :)
There was a period of time in the 1960s through the 1980s I think, when some women would hyphenate their maiden name with their husband's last name, essentially just an effort to keep the heritage of the wife's family name. It's been a long time since I've seen that. Some women will accomplish the same thing by using their maiden name as a middle name in signatures, e.g.
Anyone who calls themselves Christians and yet behave as you described certainly should come under church discipline for such sins!
Hello, Glenn! Your blog has been a great resource for me over the past couple years! This post caught my attention because something about Lloyd-Jones' wording didn't sound right to me, but truthfully, I haven't studied this topic in depth. What bothers me is that from my lifetime of reading the Bible, I've never thought God was teaching that the purpose of a wife was to enable her husband to do something glorious: "She is brought into being in order to help man to perform that great and wonderful and glorious task." But I also recognize that this is a small portion of what Lloyd-Jones was teaching, and I may not be getting the whole picture. One other thought: Wives and mothers today are expected to be the home-makers, etc. but to ALSO be the co-provider, by working full time to bring in half the income or more! That's totally wrong, and it's a huge problem that puts babies into daycare and breaks apart relationships in the family. I hate seeing how families in the church have decided they'd rather drive the big, fancy SUV and live in the upscale neighborhood rather than reduce their lifestyle by the wife's raising the kids at home.
ReplyDeleteHi Robyn,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your faithful readership!
In the whole context of the book, MLJ agrees with you. This is essentially pointing to creation, and that woman was made as a "helpmeet" for man. A companion and helper/complimenter. In this way woman does indeed "enable her husband to do something glorious...." By helping her husband in every possible way, the wife participates in glorifying God as part of mankind overall.
You are so right about what culture expects of the wife -- "super-mom." Yet when children are raised by day care and babysitters, they suffer greatly in so many ways. We decided from the outset that our children would be raised at home, and that meant my wife would be a full-time homemaker. (Oh, when our kids were in the public school (before we finally escaped into home-schooling) my wife was able to work part-time at the school so as to bring in a little extra cash and be there for the kids at the same time.) Too many couples today want to start with everything big and go heavily into debt just to have the big cars and huge mansions, etc.