tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6043971967398769903.post5878485353152951228..comments2024-03-27T19:50:47.426-05:00Comments on The Watchman's Bagpipes: Church Youth GroupsGlenn E. Chatfieldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04117405535707961903noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6043971967398769903.post-71935112310819581622011-11-04T07:28:08.884-05:002011-11-04T07:28:08.884-05:00I agree with the poster who mentions parents. I a...I agree with the poster who mentions parents. I am a former youth minister too - completely burned out by having to play politics with parents.<br /><br />We definitely had plenty of good times in our youth ministry. But I tried to incorporate the Word, prayer, service, participation in worship, Christian education, etc...and was beaten down for not being popular enough with the kids even though the program was growing.<br /><br />Best example was the parents who flew off the handle that their son would not come to worship because of the pastor (being boring) and myself (not sure what I had to do with this but said child allegedly didn't like me).<br /><br />This was the same kid who, two or three time a week, would stop by my office after school to hang out, talk, help me with projects (newsletters, etc). Yeah, the one who "didn't like me". The one who felt so pressured by his parents to live up to his superstar older sister instead of just being himself.<br /><br />It got so tiring. The times with the kids were great and I treasure them. But the times with the parents were the worst. We tried to start a faith mentorship program and couldn't get enough people to sign up, and some of the ones who did didn't fulfill their promises to the kids and left them disappointed. The biggest complaint I heard from the kids regarding the church was that the adults didn't seem to want them there, or wanted them to come but "stay in their place" in the youth room!<br /><br />I wore down and decided to leave before my attitudes began to cause more harm than good. I am now a Director of Music in a church and very happy with that. I work with the adult groups primarily, but as a bonus, there are wonderful kids in our church that get involved too. But the youth program at my current church struggles with the same problems.<br /><br />It's not the only factor in ineffective youth ministry, and maybe not even the biggest factor, but it's definitely one of them!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6043971967398769903.post-41471601075889816192011-10-29T18:07:42.600-05:002011-10-29T18:07:42.600-05:00I hope 072591 gets back into youth ministry -- we ...I hope 072591 gets back into youth ministry -- we need people like that!<br /><br />Great post, Glenn. The parents need to do their job (Eph. 6:4 and such). And if they don't want real doctrine, then they aren't saved, so they need real doctrine! So either way, they need real doctrine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6043971967398769903.post-65177222341345992872011-10-29T09:05:05.581-05:002011-10-29T09:05:05.581-05:00072591,
I fully agree with you about problematic ...072591,<br /><br />I fully agree with you about problematic parents. However, it is still the youth pastor's job to teach what he needs to teach, and parents just have to deal with it. If they leave because of the pastor taking a stance, then the pastor cannot be blamed.<br /><br />Much of this issue with parents is caused by <i><b>THEM</b></i> not being spiritually fed properly. Too many pastors are afraid to mention false teachers and false teachings from the pulpit because they just might step on someone's toes. <br /><br />It was a sad day when church leadership began to bow to public opinion rather than teach the hard truths.Glenn E. Chatfieldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04117405535707961903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6043971967398769903.post-48352606661186478112011-10-28T12:53:31.011-05:002011-10-28T12:53:31.011-05:00As a former youth leader (stopped doing it because...As a former youth leader (stopped doing it because of time constraints), I can tell you that one of the biggest obstacles to a Biblical youth group ministry is the parents. A lot of them, especially the ones who are active in the church, want the church youth group to be just a place where Christian kids come and hang out. No real teaching, no service, and especially no discipline.<br /><br />For example, there were incidents where we felt some of the teens were getting too "touchy-feely". They weren't making out in the sanctuary, but there was an incident where a boy and girl snuck off alone to the sanctuary. We established rules about physical contact between boys and girls that basically were, "no." When one of the boys publicly complained, "People will stop coming if you have these rules," I responded with, "If you decide you're not coming anymore because you can't hold your girlfriend's hand here, then quite frankly, we're better off without you."<br /><br />But the parents were the biggest complainers of the rule. "You shouldn't be telling my daughter she can't be alone with a boy in the sanctuary." I told the mother in that case, "You're right. I should not have had to tell her that. But her mom didn't, so here we are."<br /><br />(I don't suffer idiots gladly.)<br /><br />So while it may be immaturity in the leadership, it could also be a tired, beaten down youth pastor and/or team tat is just employing a mentality that it's just not worth the constant fight and that a social club is better than the kids going out partying.072591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6043971967398769903.post-44453032074366163002011-10-28T12:25:43.442-05:002011-10-28T12:25:43.442-05:00Churches are certainly failing the youth by not fe...Churches are certainly failing the youth by not feeding them with God's word. It is no wonder that many do understand the Christian faith and end up deserting the church when they get to college.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6043971967398769903.post-18479000204573249532011-10-28T11:55:11.391-05:002011-10-28T11:55:11.391-05:00GREAT post! Thank you for saying what I've bee...GREAT post! Thank you for saying what I've been thinking for so long!Lydiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00199418700186280912noreply@blogger.com